Saturday, May 12, 2007
hmm.. my poor pc got infected with virus the other time so it's kinda hard for me to post up pictures of my taiwan trip =(
Day One:
Arrive at Taipei airport with three other Singaporean gers as we await for our tour guide I still can recall the chilly wind blew pass my cheeks and arms. so cold... I felt like I was in an air-conditioned place while waiting outside for the tour guide to drive the van to the airport where we could lurge out luggage onto.
It was quite a long drive from the airport to our hotel I would say maybe an hr plus? By the time we reach the hotel...chengdu hotel it was about 9pm or so le X___X heh heh by the way the hotel is at Xi Men Ding =p Cool right the place where I saw on tv the other time 0.0 a lot of teens hang out in this area.. it's like their Bugis street or something.
After checking in at our hotel and throwing out luggage down.. we went off to explore the streets of Taipei.. the first thing we bought was this especially delicious Bubble milk tea.. it was awesome man.. =( I could never find milk tea that taste so great in Singapore.. Frankly speaking sweet talk's milk tea does not taste like Milk tea after u drank milk tea at Taiwan before =\
Mine was like milk tea with chinchow, while yandao had milk tea with pudding =p cool right =D~ we wandered around before finding a "nice" restaurant to eat. Of course it was nice.. the place had great RnB music. Eng RnB they had buffet steamboat 0.0 and grilled stuff.. and Hagen Daz ice cream.. of course besides the main course everything else was pretty good =/ the buffet was kinda disappointing cause we felt for the price we paid we are not getting what we deserved =|
it was like about 50 sing dollars for 2 pple and I dare to say I ate a lot of vege only because.. they didn't even get me my taiwan sausage. bleah
Day 2:
Woke up early like about 6am plus cos the guide was coming at about 730am... had breakfast at the hotel.. was provided for.. was not exactly first class food, but was kinda homely type.. had fun making toasted bread and i spread butter on it excitedly haha I am a small kid. There were scrambled eggs and ham as well.. there were other dishes as well but i wasnt that keen on trying them out.
So the lady guide was pretty friendly though they were late as she talked excitedly to us abt Taipei.. haha it is like so many many many times bigger than Singapore.. We stopped by some memorial hall.. before heading to the museum.. then to some places to look at the Taipei's Ling Chi... and we even went to the Tian Lu shop 0.0 where we and my bf bought this item call Tian Lu.. it's suppose to ward off evil and bring wealth to the owner..
We ate at this chinese restaurant.. where they serve really all traditional chinese food urgh =X you know right I am not a fan of rice and chinese stuff.. anyway the lu rou fan is a popular item in Taiwan 0.0
I won a small bag of tea at the traditional Tea shop before we headed to Jiu Fen to buy more goodies.. yum yum bought a lot of muah chee from the shop and yummy jellies.. bought some cute souvenirs for my colleagues as well.. it was nice walking around the hilly area..and what I recall.. The guide mention this area used to be a gold mine area? anyway almost all the gold had been dugged up so not many pple come here for gold digging anymore... cool 0.0
Then we went to this Taipei Bakery shop famous for it's pineapple cakes.. i bought a box of the red bean pastries yum yum while dear bought the pineapple cakes.. then we went to the hot spring.. woo hoo... we soaked ourselves in the spring water =D very lukewarm... heh heh By the way in Taipei if u go into the public hot spring.. u have to be naked.. haha I was not going to risk that so we went to book a private room.. so did the rest of the tourists on the bus guess no one was really comfortable exposing themselves to the others of the same sex.
It was really soothing =) and afterwards it was our free time .. me and dear went to Shi Lin Ye shi.. cool... there was all kinds of food there...had this yummy omlette with oysters.. and some carrot cake.. dear had his favourite pig liver soup 0.0 wander around for quite a bit and we walk and walk.. heh heh so happy.. bought two pairs of nice shoes at a really awesome price.. one pair was like Sing 13 bucks.. and bought earrings as well.. we ate this really cute kueh it's like tu tu kueh but nicer.. and the guy making it was kinda cute too ha ha but of course my yandao is cuter wahahaa
we then lugged everything back to the hotel.. had a good night's rest =D
P.s: yah lucky dear had win a bear's paw from those machines where u slot in a taipei ten dollar(Sing 50 cents) and get a chance to catch the toys.
Day 3:
Hmm... I recall waking up to eat the hotel's breakfast.. yum yum had toasted bread with butter as usual.. and scrambled eggs with cai po in it...
Then we decide to set off to Dan Shui..
oh my god... wat a weather rain rain go away =(
it was supposedly to be a fine weather but when we reached Dan Shui it was raining cats and dogs... there goes my chance to go qing ren qiao.. weh =~(
Anyway I still bought ice cream there ahah which cost only like 50 cent Sing a cone.. there were many many flavours u can choose from... it was a long walk to the pier.. and along the way I was forced to buy a thick pink Jacket by yandao because he keeps thinking I will freeze to death if I dun buy it haha.. -_- Made me look like a fat pink penguin. Dunno what was so nice about it =S I also bought a top which really kinda had a retro look..
Oh and guess what we had lunch at Mac donalds wahahaha...it's weird they dun serve chilli at the Mac restaurants there =/ I had this shrimp foldover which was really kinda yummy... heh heh =D~ you cant find this in Singapore's Mac alright.
After braving the heavy rain and stuff.. we bought some chou tou fu from the pier.. ewww frankly speaking I thought it tasted like shit... =( sorry if I offend any chou tou fu lovers out there, but the taste isn't really what I expected at all.. hmm the BBQ sotong was nice though =D~ haha
and so we rested a while before going to the restaurant below to eat the all you can eat buffet at 199 taibi... which is like ten bucks a person... it was way cheap and frankly speaking the variety was great... there was even like melted cheese.. yummy.. and there was ice cream and jellies and pudding for desert.. they even had like ice jelly haha... so delicious.. =p
OH MY GOD.. it was practically about food the whole day.
Later at night...We manage to find our way to Taipei's 101. one of the tallest building there.. but unfortunately only the lounge was open that night so we skipped going clubbing at Mint. We went back Xi Men Ding.. has some great deserts at a stall
its like heavenly =p.. corn on ice.. with peanut cream or something yum yum...
Somehow dear decided he have to spent money somewhere or he cant sleep in peace... and so we went to KTV at Party's World..
wow It was really classy ... they had this expensive chandelier hanging from the exquisite celling.. we book a room and was it big... it was nothing like the sleazy party world I went before at Orchard road. It even had its own washroom.. cool.. and I ordered one big jug of milk tea... it was very nice but fattening.. we also ordered some munchies like fried seafood balls with wedges and some fried popiah..
hur wasn't really in the singing mood but manage to anyhow sing a few songs. was kinda sleepy after that and even fell asleep on sofa haha too comfortable..
Day 4:
The previous day we slept pretty late after our ktv session so when we woke up it was basically like noon already.. we made our way to a nice cafe in Xi Men Ding to have our lunch and seriously it's pretty cheap abt 20 plus for 2 pple. it was really good... i had this fried stuff i think it was fried crumbled tofu or something smeared on top of fish.... absolutely yummy......... =D~
We then tried to make our way to pubs by walking and walking and walking =/ anyway manage to bought a belt =D kinda cool belt with jap words on it along the long journey..
We stopped by a cafe to have drinks.. X_X the moccha was bad.. =( lol...
and I think we went to SOGO before hand as dear was very enthu into going the shopping palace for rich tai tais... all the branded goods ha..
Finally we realised we were going nowhere and decide to go back to rest..
I manage to buy a really cool bag at Xi Men Ding for like Singapore Ten bucks wahaha and we kinda loittered around the Xi Men Ding Area. the arcade joints before heaing back to hotel... it was kinda hard trying to find a washroom at the area =( Finally found one at the Mos burger haha -__________-""
dear bought a big bowl of soup and yummy rice for dinner while I had KFC's french hotdog... it was pretty yummy hur hur something I cannot find in Singapore too.. guess I am quite a fast food addict wahahha
and after that we slept for a while before heading back to Mint club =D oh my god.. all the bartenders look like wu zun's pals.. =D haha how come they got such good looking bartenders in Taipei 0.0 I dun see such pple in Singapore lol... and the songs were really great lots of nice rnb songs =D and I had a great time dancing =p I could get tequila shots for free and Long island tea was free flow too... wahahahahaha oh my god...
Guess the only setback was that the club was pretty small.. other that that everything was perfect =D
After going back to the hotel area.. we lay on bed like dead logs...
Day 5:
Back to Singapore... sad sad life time to start work again lol...
I MISS MY HOLIDAY... =(
Day One:
Arrive at Taipei airport with three other Singaporean gers as we await for our tour guide I still can recall the chilly wind blew pass my cheeks and arms. so cold... I felt like I was in an air-conditioned place while waiting outside for the tour guide to drive the van to the airport where we could lurge out luggage onto.
It was quite a long drive from the airport to our hotel I would say maybe an hr plus? By the time we reach the hotel...chengdu hotel it was about 9pm or so le X___X heh heh by the way the hotel is at Xi Men Ding =p Cool right the place where I saw on tv the other time 0.0 a lot of teens hang out in this area.. it's like their Bugis street or something.
After checking in at our hotel and throwing out luggage down.. we went off to explore the streets of Taipei.. the first thing we bought was this especially delicious Bubble milk tea.. it was awesome man.. =( I could never find milk tea that taste so great in Singapore.. Frankly speaking sweet talk's milk tea does not taste like Milk tea after u drank milk tea at Taiwan before =\
Mine was like milk tea with chinchow, while yandao had milk tea with pudding =p cool right =D~ we wandered around before finding a "nice" restaurant to eat. Of course it was nice.. the place had great RnB music. Eng RnB they had buffet steamboat 0.0 and grilled stuff.. and Hagen Daz ice cream.. of course besides the main course everything else was pretty good =/ the buffet was kinda disappointing cause we felt for the price we paid we are not getting what we deserved =|
it was like about 50 sing dollars for 2 pple and I dare to say I ate a lot of vege only because.. they didn't even get me my taiwan sausage. bleah
Day 2:
Woke up early like about 6am plus cos the guide was coming at about 730am... had breakfast at the hotel.. was provided for.. was not exactly first class food, but was kinda homely type.. had fun making toasted bread and i spread butter on it excitedly haha I am a small kid. There were scrambled eggs and ham as well.. there were other dishes as well but i wasnt that keen on trying them out.
So the lady guide was pretty friendly though they were late as she talked excitedly to us abt Taipei.. haha it is like so many many many times bigger than Singapore.. We stopped by some memorial hall.. before heading to the museum.. then to some places to look at the Taipei's Ling Chi... and we even went to the Tian Lu shop 0.0 where we and my bf bought this item call Tian Lu.. it's suppose to ward off evil and bring wealth to the owner..
We ate at this chinese restaurant.. where they serve really all traditional chinese food urgh =X you know right I am not a fan of rice and chinese stuff.. anyway the lu rou fan is a popular item in Taiwan 0.0
I won a small bag of tea at the traditional Tea shop before we headed to Jiu Fen to buy more goodies.. yum yum bought a lot of muah chee from the shop and yummy jellies.. bought some cute souvenirs for my colleagues as well.. it was nice walking around the hilly area..and what I recall.. The guide mention this area used to be a gold mine area? anyway almost all the gold had been dugged up so not many pple come here for gold digging anymore... cool 0.0
Then we went to this Taipei Bakery shop famous for it's pineapple cakes.. i bought a box of the red bean pastries yum yum while dear bought the pineapple cakes.. then we went to the hot spring.. woo hoo... we soaked ourselves in the spring water =D very lukewarm... heh heh By the way in Taipei if u go into the public hot spring.. u have to be naked.. haha I was not going to risk that so we went to book a private room.. so did the rest of the tourists on the bus guess no one was really comfortable exposing themselves to the others of the same sex.
It was really soothing =) and afterwards it was our free time .. me and dear went to Shi Lin Ye shi.. cool... there was all kinds of food there...had this yummy omlette with oysters.. and some carrot cake.. dear had his favourite pig liver soup 0.0 wander around for quite a bit and we walk and walk.. heh heh so happy.. bought two pairs of nice shoes at a really awesome price.. one pair was like Sing 13 bucks.. and bought earrings as well.. we ate this really cute kueh it's like tu tu kueh but nicer.. and the guy making it was kinda cute too ha ha but of course my yandao is cuter wahahaa
we then lugged everything back to the hotel.. had a good night's rest =D
P.s: yah lucky dear had win a bear's paw from those machines where u slot in a taipei ten dollar(Sing 50 cents) and get a chance to catch the toys.
Day 3:
Hmm... I recall waking up to eat the hotel's breakfast.. yum yum had toasted bread with butter as usual.. and scrambled eggs with cai po in it...
Then we decide to set off to Dan Shui..
oh my god... wat a weather rain rain go away =(
it was supposedly to be a fine weather but when we reached Dan Shui it was raining cats and dogs... there goes my chance to go qing ren qiao.. weh =~(
Anyway I still bought ice cream there ahah which cost only like 50 cent Sing a cone.. there were many many flavours u can choose from... it was a long walk to the pier.. and along the way I was forced to buy a thick pink Jacket by yandao because he keeps thinking I will freeze to death if I dun buy it haha.. -_- Made me look like a fat pink penguin. Dunno what was so nice about it =S I also bought a top which really kinda had a retro look..
Oh and guess what we had lunch at Mac donalds wahahaha...it's weird they dun serve chilli at the Mac restaurants there =/ I had this shrimp foldover which was really kinda yummy... heh heh =D~ you cant find this in Singapore's Mac alright.
After braving the heavy rain and stuff.. we bought some chou tou fu from the pier.. ewww frankly speaking I thought it tasted like shit... =( sorry if I offend any chou tou fu lovers out there, but the taste isn't really what I expected at all.. hmm the BBQ sotong was nice though =D~ haha
and so we rested a while before going to the restaurant below to eat the all you can eat buffet at 199 taibi... which is like ten bucks a person... it was way cheap and frankly speaking the variety was great... there was even like melted cheese.. yummy.. and there was ice cream and jellies and pudding for desert.. they even had like ice jelly haha... so delicious.. =p
OH MY GOD.. it was practically about food the whole day.
Later at night...We manage to find our way to Taipei's 101. one of the tallest building there.. but unfortunately only the lounge was open that night so we skipped going clubbing at Mint. We went back Xi Men Ding.. has some great deserts at a stall
its like heavenly =p.. corn on ice.. with peanut cream or something yum yum...
Somehow dear decided he have to spent money somewhere or he cant sleep in peace... and so we went to KTV at Party's World..
wow It was really classy ... they had this expensive chandelier hanging from the exquisite celling.. we book a room and was it big... it was nothing like the sleazy party world I went before at Orchard road. It even had its own washroom.. cool.. and I ordered one big jug of milk tea... it was very nice but fattening.. we also ordered some munchies like fried seafood balls with wedges and some fried popiah..
hur wasn't really in the singing mood but manage to anyhow sing a few songs. was kinda sleepy after that and even fell asleep on sofa haha too comfortable..
Day 4:
The previous day we slept pretty late after our ktv session so when we woke up it was basically like noon already.. we made our way to a nice cafe in Xi Men Ding to have our lunch and seriously it's pretty cheap abt 20 plus for 2 pple. it was really good... i had this fried stuff i think it was fried crumbled tofu or something smeared on top of fish.... absolutely yummy......... =D~
We then tried to make our way to pubs by walking and walking and walking =/ anyway manage to bought a belt =D kinda cool belt with jap words on it along the long journey..
We stopped by a cafe to have drinks.. X_X the moccha was bad.. =( lol...
and I think we went to SOGO before hand as dear was very enthu into going the shopping palace for rich tai tais... all the branded goods ha..
Finally we realised we were going nowhere and decide to go back to rest..
I manage to buy a really cool bag at Xi Men Ding for like Singapore Ten bucks wahaha and we kinda loittered around the Xi Men Ding Area. the arcade joints before heaing back to hotel... it was kinda hard trying to find a washroom at the area =( Finally found one at the Mos burger haha -__________-""
dear bought a big bowl of soup and yummy rice for dinner while I had KFC's french hotdog... it was pretty yummy hur hur something I cannot find in Singapore too.. guess I am quite a fast food addict wahahha
and after that we slept for a while before heading back to Mint club =D oh my god.. all the bartenders look like wu zun's pals.. =D haha how come they got such good looking bartenders in Taipei 0.0 I dun see such pple in Singapore lol... and the songs were really great lots of nice rnb songs =D and I had a great time dancing =p I could get tequila shots for free and Long island tea was free flow too... wahahahahaha oh my god...
Guess the only setback was that the club was pretty small.. other that that everything was perfect =D
After going back to the hotel area.. we lay on bed like dead logs...
Day 5:
Back to Singapore... sad sad life time to start work again lol...
I MISS MY HOLIDAY... =(
5:03 AM
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Love: Follow mom’s advice
By Chelsea Kaplan
If you’re striking out in the game of love, it may be time to call in the ultimate dating coach: Mom. The dynamic combo of a) her keeping your best interests in mind and b) her relying on a lifetime of experience make Mom the ultimate authority on what you need to look for in a man. Need a preview of what you can expect her to tell you? Below, in honor of Mother’s Day, find some of the best bits of mom-wisdom:
Mama says: Look for a guy who’s generous
While many guys need to carefully monitor their spending habits, one who never splurges on his sweetheart may not be who Mom would consider Mr. Right-For-You. “My mother always told me that ‘cheap’ is a first cousin of ‘selfish’, so I should steer clear of guys who are always wanting to split the tab or unnecessarily counting every penny,” says Rayna, 27, a flight attendant in Dallas, TX. “She said that guys who were cheap were just another version of selfish: mostly thinking of themselves more than thinking of others.”
Emily, 24, a retail salesperson in New York, NY, said her mom had similar views and warned her against a particularly frugal man she once dated. “I once lived with a guy for a year who was a well-paid stockbroker. Even though he made nearly 10 times my salary, he always insisted on splitting all of our living costs—even including food and the expenses whenever we took a vacation together. My mom hated that he was so cheap because she thought it showed a lack of selflessness, and she warned me that marrying him would be a terrible mistake because he’d always think of himself before me or even our future kids. I ignored her, but when he got us tickets to go see a Broadway show on my birthday — one he wanted to see — and asked me to pay for my ticket, I got an inkling that Mom was right. Later his true selfishness became very apparent. I never would have wanted a lifetime of that, so I broke up with him. Should have listened to Mom from the get-go!”
Lesson learned: A guy who’s willing to make a sacrifice to treat you like a queen thinks (rightfully so!) that you deserve to feel like one.
Mama says: Look for a guy who is well-mannered
After raising perfectly polished kids of her own, Mom knows that training a grown man who is rough around the edges is a challenge that you don’t want to be saddled with. “My mother always tells me to pay close attention to a guy’s manners — how he eats, if he interacts appropriately with the waitstaff, if he follows the basic principles of etiquette — when I am out on a first date with him,” says Molly, 30, a radio producer in Boston, MA. “She says that if he’s ‘off’ in any of those areas, I might want to reconsider having a future with him because she claims ‘it’s tough enough teaching manners to children; imagine trying to teach them to an adult!’”
Fran, 27, a day-care assistant in Atlanta, GA, says that her mother never approved of her ill-mannered ex, and now she understands why: “When my mom first met my ex we were out to dinner and he talked with his mouth full the entire evening, didn’t know which silverware to use, and when dinner was over, he never thanked them for it. She assured me his behavior was indicative of future situations that would embarrass me in other social situations. I thought she was totally overreacting and being way too judgmental, but I later discovered that she was right. Any time we were out with friends his manners would always mortify me. Eventually I found myself making excuses for why we couldn’t meet friends out. I finally stopped canceling plans with friends and ended things with him. Mom was right—a poorly-mannered guy who isn’t making an effort to improve in that area makes for a bad boyfriend!”
Lesson learned: A guy who knows the appropriate ways to act in social situations (or is eager to train up) will never embarrass you.
Mama says: Look for a guy who’s industrious
Have you ever met a mom who wishes that her daughter would date a lazy guy? Didn’t think so. When it comes to recommending you seek out a hardworking guy, Mom knows what you might not always understand: A guy with a good work ethic will always take care of her little girl. “My mom told me that I should only date guys who are hardworking at their jobs, because that would be a good indicator of whether he would as a husband be a good provider for me and our kids,” says Paula, 25, a nursing student in Washington, D.C. While Linda, 33, a catering services representative in Villanova, PA, said her mother also recommended looking for a man with a strong work ethic, her mother’s advice involved looking beyond the workplace: “My mother told me to look for a guy who not only worked hard on the job, but also at home. She always told me to make sure he was willing to do his share of taking out the trash and helping out with the cooking and cleaning, too. She probably advised this because she raised five kids and kept up the house without the help of a husband who was willing to do those things, and it wore her down! Pretty solid advice, I think.”
For many mothers, industriousness and maturity go hand in hand (and you know Mom always warns you against those Peter Pan types): “My mother hated this one guy I dated who was habitually — and happily — unemployed,” says Becky, 28, a computer programmer in Vienna, VA. “He’d veg out on the couch all day, playing video games and order pizza while I worked to support us both. Mom would always ask me, ‘Do you really think this will change once you get married? Why have kids? You’ve already got one!’ and she’d urge me to find a guy with some semblance of a work ethic. Eventually I took her words to heart and started making sure that any guy I dated was not only gainfully employed, but had career goals for his future. Mom was right—an industrious guy is a mature guy.”
Lesson learned: A guy with a good work ethic, who always does his best to make your life together comfortable, is a solid partner.
Mama says: Look for a guy who’s flexible
Mom knows that life is full of ups and downs, which is why she always wants you to meet a guy who can help you make lemonade should life hand you lemons. “My mom’s number one piece of advice for me when I was dating was to find a guy who was adaptable, because she said life requires that we all be able to roll with the unexpected,” says Megan, 34, a web administrator in Moreno Valley, CA. Stacey, 28, a public-relations coordinator in Ft. Myers, FL, says that she realized how valuable her mom’s similar advice was when she was faced with a career opportunity: “I once dated a guy who was very set in his ways and pretty unwilling to deviate from his ideas of the way things should be. My mom would always say, ‘How are you going to live the rest of your life with someone who can’t handle all of the things that life throws at you?’ When I got my dream job that involved moving to another town, he refused to budge. I took her advice and went without him, and it was the best decision I ever made. I can’t even begin to imagine what my life would be like if I had stayed like he wanted to. Mom was right—sometimes in life you need to be willing to reconsider your rules.”
Lesson learned: Life’s full of both rain and shine—having a partner who can weather both with you is a keeper.
Mama says: Look for a guy who loves children
If you dream of a future filled with kids, Mama will always be the first one to tell you that you’d best look for a man who wants the same thing. Dana, 32, a teacher in New York, NY, says she always knew she wanted four children, and her mother always advised that she look for a guy who was on the same page: “My mom always told me to not only never considering dating a guy who didn’t want to have kids, but to also make sure that the one I picked really loved being around children. She always said that I should never want to be with the kind of guy who I’d have to convince or beg to have kids because he’d probably make a not-so-hot father anyway.” Even if you’re not sure you’re ready for a brood of babies, chances are Mom will still tell you that picking a guy who enjoys being around children is a good idea. “My mom says that men who are good with kids are always good-hearted men because they are ‘giving people,’” says Ashleigh, 23, a store manager in Akron, OH. “She always tells me that men who like kids are the sweetest kind, and in my dating experience, I’ve found that she’s totally right.”
Lesson learned: Whether you want kids or not, in general, men who like kids are kind-natured souls.
THIS IS A VERY VERY WELL WRITTEN ARTICLE *APPLAUDS*
By Chelsea Kaplan
If you’re striking out in the game of love, it may be time to call in the ultimate dating coach: Mom. The dynamic combo of a) her keeping your best interests in mind and b) her relying on a lifetime of experience make Mom the ultimate authority on what you need to look for in a man. Need a preview of what you can expect her to tell you? Below, in honor of Mother’s Day, find some of the best bits of mom-wisdom:
Mama says: Look for a guy who’s generous
While many guys need to carefully monitor their spending habits, one who never splurges on his sweetheart may not be who Mom would consider Mr. Right-For-You. “My mother always told me that ‘cheap’ is a first cousin of ‘selfish’, so I should steer clear of guys who are always wanting to split the tab or unnecessarily counting every penny,” says Rayna, 27, a flight attendant in Dallas, TX. “She said that guys who were cheap were just another version of selfish: mostly thinking of themselves more than thinking of others.”
Emily, 24, a retail salesperson in New York, NY, said her mom had similar views and warned her against a particularly frugal man she once dated. “I once lived with a guy for a year who was a well-paid stockbroker. Even though he made nearly 10 times my salary, he always insisted on splitting all of our living costs—even including food and the expenses whenever we took a vacation together. My mom hated that he was so cheap because she thought it showed a lack of selflessness, and she warned me that marrying him would be a terrible mistake because he’d always think of himself before me or even our future kids. I ignored her, but when he got us tickets to go see a Broadway show on my birthday — one he wanted to see — and asked me to pay for my ticket, I got an inkling that Mom was right. Later his true selfishness became very apparent. I never would have wanted a lifetime of that, so I broke up with him. Should have listened to Mom from the get-go!”
Lesson learned: A guy who’s willing to make a sacrifice to treat you like a queen thinks (rightfully so!) that you deserve to feel like one.
Mama says: Look for a guy who is well-mannered
After raising perfectly polished kids of her own, Mom knows that training a grown man who is rough around the edges is a challenge that you don’t want to be saddled with. “My mother always tells me to pay close attention to a guy’s manners — how he eats, if he interacts appropriately with the waitstaff, if he follows the basic principles of etiquette — when I am out on a first date with him,” says Molly, 30, a radio producer in Boston, MA. “She says that if he’s ‘off’ in any of those areas, I might want to reconsider having a future with him because she claims ‘it’s tough enough teaching manners to children; imagine trying to teach them to an adult!’”
Fran, 27, a day-care assistant in Atlanta, GA, says that her mother never approved of her ill-mannered ex, and now she understands why: “When my mom first met my ex we were out to dinner and he talked with his mouth full the entire evening, didn’t know which silverware to use, and when dinner was over, he never thanked them for it. She assured me his behavior was indicative of future situations that would embarrass me in other social situations. I thought she was totally overreacting and being way too judgmental, but I later discovered that she was right. Any time we were out with friends his manners would always mortify me. Eventually I found myself making excuses for why we couldn’t meet friends out. I finally stopped canceling plans with friends and ended things with him. Mom was right—a poorly-mannered guy who isn’t making an effort to improve in that area makes for a bad boyfriend!”
Lesson learned: A guy who knows the appropriate ways to act in social situations (or is eager to train up) will never embarrass you.
Mama says: Look for a guy who’s industrious
Have you ever met a mom who wishes that her daughter would date a lazy guy? Didn’t think so. When it comes to recommending you seek out a hardworking guy, Mom knows what you might not always understand: A guy with a good work ethic will always take care of her little girl. “My mom told me that I should only date guys who are hardworking at their jobs, because that would be a good indicator of whether he would as a husband be a good provider for me and our kids,” says Paula, 25, a nursing student in Washington, D.C. While Linda, 33, a catering services representative in Villanova, PA, said her mother also recommended looking for a man with a strong work ethic, her mother’s advice involved looking beyond the workplace: “My mother told me to look for a guy who not only worked hard on the job, but also at home. She always told me to make sure he was willing to do his share of taking out the trash and helping out with the cooking and cleaning, too. She probably advised this because she raised five kids and kept up the house without the help of a husband who was willing to do those things, and it wore her down! Pretty solid advice, I think.”
For many mothers, industriousness and maturity go hand in hand (and you know Mom always warns you against those Peter Pan types): “My mother hated this one guy I dated who was habitually — and happily — unemployed,” says Becky, 28, a computer programmer in Vienna, VA. “He’d veg out on the couch all day, playing video games and order pizza while I worked to support us both. Mom would always ask me, ‘Do you really think this will change once you get married? Why have kids? You’ve already got one!’ and she’d urge me to find a guy with some semblance of a work ethic. Eventually I took her words to heart and started making sure that any guy I dated was not only gainfully employed, but had career goals for his future. Mom was right—an industrious guy is a mature guy.”
Lesson learned: A guy with a good work ethic, who always does his best to make your life together comfortable, is a solid partner.
Mama says: Look for a guy who’s flexible
Mom knows that life is full of ups and downs, which is why she always wants you to meet a guy who can help you make lemonade should life hand you lemons. “My mom’s number one piece of advice for me when I was dating was to find a guy who was adaptable, because she said life requires that we all be able to roll with the unexpected,” says Megan, 34, a web administrator in Moreno Valley, CA. Stacey, 28, a public-relations coordinator in Ft. Myers, FL, says that she realized how valuable her mom’s similar advice was when she was faced with a career opportunity: “I once dated a guy who was very set in his ways and pretty unwilling to deviate from his ideas of the way things should be. My mom would always say, ‘How are you going to live the rest of your life with someone who can’t handle all of the things that life throws at you?’ When I got my dream job that involved moving to another town, he refused to budge. I took her advice and went without him, and it was the best decision I ever made. I can’t even begin to imagine what my life would be like if I had stayed like he wanted to. Mom was right—sometimes in life you need to be willing to reconsider your rules.”
Lesson learned: Life’s full of both rain and shine—having a partner who can weather both with you is a keeper.
Mama says: Look for a guy who loves children
If you dream of a future filled with kids, Mama will always be the first one to tell you that you’d best look for a man who wants the same thing. Dana, 32, a teacher in New York, NY, says she always knew she wanted four children, and her mother always advised that she look for a guy who was on the same page: “My mom always told me to not only never considering dating a guy who didn’t want to have kids, but to also make sure that the one I picked really loved being around children. She always said that I should never want to be with the kind of guy who I’d have to convince or beg to have kids because he’d probably make a not-so-hot father anyway.” Even if you’re not sure you’re ready for a brood of babies, chances are Mom will still tell you that picking a guy who enjoys being around children is a good idea. “My mom says that men who are good with kids are always good-hearted men because they are ‘giving people,’” says Ashleigh, 23, a store manager in Akron, OH. “She always tells me that men who like kids are the sweetest kind, and in my dating experience, I’ve found that she’s totally right.”
Lesson learned: Whether you want kids or not, in general, men who like kids are kind-natured souls.
THIS IS A VERY VERY WELL WRITTEN ARTICLE *APPLAUDS*
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